Those of you who are big social media fanatics and live in the world of one man entrepreneurs are probably well versed with social media and all the nonsensical talk that goes along with it. Until now, I had been quite patient, putting up with all the crap that we all get fed by social media experts who serious overrate their own value.
As business has taken off over the years and I’m no more flying solo, I’ve taken the time of to personally indulge in some of the ‘so called’ marketing and contact enhancing techniques that so many businesses swear by. Now I started my business in London online – I got my first client because of social media and the millions of online marketing tools out there, and for years I have been hearing these online marketing, SEO and Social Media Consultants talk shit. Frankly, now I’m a little bored of it.
A couple of weeks ago I attended a networking event in Central London. As with many networking events across this wonderfully pathetic city (see this article for more details), you’re expected to give your 40 or 60 second pitch summarizing your business and then you’re supposed to listen to 20 more people and pretend to really care. Then we had this social media and online ‘guru’ tell us about how you can and must use online marketing to enhance your presence and gain market share. He, like the many others, talked about how he had made a living doing this and why all the others should do it. Like the billions of such experts available today, he charges you a set fee to manage your social media presence initially and TRAIN you on how to do it – then you’re on your own. At this point, I didn’t say anything. I’m not one to bash technology, but I will take a shot at any salesman 7 days a week.
A few days later, on one of the business forums in London, another such online specialist had posted a message asking what complaint business owners primarily had with online media – why they struggled to manage their social media presence and campaigns. That’s a ridiculously pathetic question, and every person who sets up a business doing this get rich quick stuff needs to be shot dead. They’re a bunch of lying morons and should not be given a dime.
Now let me tell you why you should not talk to these experts. First rule of thumb is those who can’t do, teach. So if someone is willing to teach you for £1,000 how twitter and facebook work and how you should go by getting followers and fans, tell them to fuck themselves. You don’t need 1000 twitter followers to run a business, and if it was this effective having 5,000 facebook fans, this person would actually be doing real business with all these fans and followers rather than preaching how to gain a following. The same applies to general sales and marketing consultants too. Here’s how you get a good expert or consultant – ask him to generate a sale for you and take a big percentage. If he’s that good, he’ll accept. If he wants to take money to teach you so you can continue to get rich on your own, he’s an asshole, not an educator.
So, back to social media. Let me tell you a little secret about this industry – besides all the lying scammers that promote it, trying to market in social media is like a drop in the ocean. If you’re going to do this, you have to make it count. If you’re a small business with real work to do, don’t bother much with it. If you’ve got time, sure, but if you don’t leave it be.
I’ve recently setup a personal twitter account on http://twitter.com/cynicalhoot. Our corporate accounts only have under 100 followers each, and although we’ve got very little business from them, they’re there because as a business you’re judged by all this rubbish – because of all the scamming morons and the low IQ individuals who generally tend to fall for their scams. Think about it, twitter experts say you’ve got to make your posts count, you’ve got care about the people who follow you. Frankly, I don’t think most of these people have more than 3 friends in life they really care about, and if you delude yourself by thinking that 1,000 people actually care about what you say and they’re gullible enough to believe you actually care about them by following them on twitter, well, stop reading and go on wasting your life. Just because you have 1000 followers does not mean they all read what you tweet; they certainly don’t give a toss. It’s just a good way to get your ego boosted. A major part of the twitter following is you scratch my back and I will scratch yours. Follow me and I’ll follow you. Then you’ve got these morons who will literally spam twitter with posts. Well, guess what, those of us who have work to do don’t really want to read your shit. So fuck off and don’t tell me what your plans are for tonight!
Now, for all those twitter success stories. Out of the hundreds of millions of people who use twitter, there have only been a few successes. The truth is, it is really not worth the effort for most small businesses. Yes, it’s a channel you must keep open as it’s just another source that could get you business, but you’ll be much better off trying to understand a target market and go after them. If you tweet prospects, how seriously do you think they’ll actually treat you? If you disagree, good for you. Just don’t preach the social media religion to me, and don’t make it out to be what it’s not in public, or I’ll call you out.
I’ll leave LinkedIn out of this discussion. It’s actually an OK tool and as long as it doesn’t turn into an eAcademy, I’ll feel safe using it. Facebook is OK for business. Again, it’s not something you should spend your life on UNLESS you sell consumer products. If you sell B2B products, social media is just another way of getting some brand recognition, like getting your logo printed on t shirts or coffee cups. The chances of that converting to cash in the near future are slim – very slim.
So, if you really want to use social media networks to get business, research your market, find the people who need what you sell, define your unique selling points and know WHY they should buy from you, and then initiate contact with them. People always buy from people because they get something worth getting. Nobody who knows anything about twitter or facebook will buy from you just because you have thousands of fans and followers. Almost everyone who’s willing to kiss ass can accumulate followers – that doesn’t mean they’re good at running their business or doing good work. Just like talk, social media is free, so there’s way too much noise in this industry.
Ignore it and confront the liars.
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