From the Desk of Asif Nawaz

When I was making my move to the UK, I had a very difficult time finding the right resources and the right guidance. It was very difficult to get hold of information like ‘how to open a bank account’, or how phone service in the UK works, or what are the best resources to look for work or accomodation. I’m now in my 6th month of arriving in the UK, and I think I’m ready to put a rather comprehensive guide for somebody moving to the UK (particularly London). Now, please keep in mind that my background (when making comparisons) is US, UAE and Pakistan based, so most opinionated statements here may not apply to people moving from other parts of Europe (if they share the same system as Great Britain does).

The Basics

So, you’ve finally arrived (I’m going to skip the visa, if needed, plane ticket, etc. etc. because if you’re unable to arrange that, this guide probably doesn’t apply). Now, what are you supposed to do next? Well, if you’re anything but normal, maybe you’d want to start with communications and finances to get going.

UK Mobile and Landline Telephone Services

Okay, if you’re new, the good news is that you can use almost any GSM/GPRS enabled cellular / mobile phone in the UK, and mobile phone service is very cheap to start with. You can buy T-Mobile, Vodaphone, O2 or Orange SIMs for a pound, and that means you can get started with the phenomenon of pre-paid or pay-as-you-go mobile phone service. Be weary of who you call though, because outgoing call rates are outrageous, sometimes costing as much as 20p a minute (which is approx. 40 US cents). Please be aware that, depending on your carrier, it may be cheaper for you to call the US than it would be a UK number from your mobile phone.

Also need to get a landline? Well, you don’t have much choice. Just like you were screwed with Etisalat in Dubai, you’re going to get screwed by British Telecom (BT) and their highly, incompetent, un-educated, not-trained, low-life customer service. But, if you want to live a comfortable life in London, you need a BT Line, because half of this so-called metropolis is not wired with cable, which means that everything (your phone, internet, TV etc.) will all eventually be delivered through your BT Line in the event that you live outside of Zone 1 or Zone 2 in London (which most people do). Getting a BT line is not so difficult, it’s ONLY painful; just visit bt.com or call them. Best of luck!

For pay month mobile services, you have contract and contract free options depending on your phone needs. Mobile phone service is expensive when compared with the US and some other countries, and if you are moving here from the States, get used to horrific customer service. The customer comes 3rd, not 1st, in the UK. Read all your terms and conditions whether it’s for your mobile or broadband service, especially when going with big companies like Virgin. They’ll try and stiff you whenever they can. In my opinion and experience so far, O2 has been good, both for mobile phone service and broadband. They provide reasonable quality and good, consistent pricing.

The Bank Account

This one is extremely important. The UK is a country where virtually every service you use has to be paid for by Direct Debit. So, chances are, no bank account, no internet, no TV, no BT Line, no monthly mobile/cell phone service, no life. But here is the kicker, to open a bank account, you’ll need a utility bill in your name for proof of address, or you will need a foreign bank statement (from your old bank) addressed to your UK residential address. That doesn’t happen at many international banks, so you’re basically screwed when it comes to proof of address.

Also, almost every UK bank will require you to have a job before you can open an account (how pathetic is that!). Can’t get paid without a bank account, and can’t get a bank account without getting paid. I wonder who came up with these pathetic rules. NatWest is probably the only bank which will allow you to open a full checking / current account without a job, which means you can have a cheque book, debit card etc. with it. Steer clear of the introductory accounts, which only give you an ATM card. They’re absolutely useless and are the banks’ way to take your money and restrict your access to it.

If you already have a job line up when you move to the UK, a letter from your employer will suffice for the purposes of opening a bank account.

You will also need an ID (your passport) to prove your identity.

Now, how do you go by getting your proof of address? You’ll have to get an existing utility bill amended at the place where you’re staying for it to reflect your name. That’s the only way it’s going to work. If you will get a BT Bill changed (mind you, internet service does not count as a utility in the UK), be aware that they will give you a run for the money. They will, in all likelihood, add your name as a c/o, and the bank will not accept it, so make sure they get it right. It’s easier to write to them rather than getting it done over the phone, because over the phone connects you to India, and that just doesn’t work. Also, note that BT will charge you upto GBP 5.00 to mail you a copy of the updated bill (or you can wait 3 months for bill to arrive, since most BT billing is done quarterly).

National Insurance

National Insurance is the US equivalent of Social Security. Both are rather wreckless tax policies, but they are nonetheless the law and you must abide by them. Note the YOU. You’ll have to call the local job centre in your area to make an appointment, where you will have to take the appropriate documentation that establishes that your presence in the UK is legal and that you are allowed to work. If you can convince the NI staff that you’re not here to rob the UK, they will issue you a National Insurance number, which will arrive at the address you provided via your proof of address when applying for your National Insurance Number (NIN).

Please note that you do not need to have an NI number to start working. You can start work, and your employer will apply for your NIN. However, the employer will deduct NIN from your pay cheque starting day one, irrespective whether you have or don’t have a number. When the number is issued, your employer would submit the contributions tot he government against your NIN. Please note that you don’t need the NIN to start working, but you need a National Insurance Number to continue working in the UK. So, don’t delay it.

Looking for Work?

Well, work ethic for recruitment consultants in the UK sucks. They’re paid to promote a very good picture and not necessarily deliver results, and nobody will give you good advice. Having your CV looking right is very important in the UK, and the American format will do you no good here. The more valid, relevant information you have on your resume/CV, the less chance you will have of getting an interview. The more short, ambiguous and unexplanatory your CV, the better off you are. It’s a dodgy job market.

Prepare in advance, get ready to wait. Consultants make you wait in London, and you must be prepared to survive 3-4 months without earning a penny, unless you are entrepreneurial and have other legal means of making a living, which London provides plenty of opportunity for.

Note that London is a good place for self employment. The level of incompetence (and I say this without much sarcasm) is pretty high (comparable with Dubai), and there is a lot more need for competent, professional people, which means that if you’re good at what you do, there is money to be made in the UK.

Remember, the UK is, in the words of some Britons, in many ways “a third world country masquerading as a developed nation.” This means that 8 out of 10 times when looking for a job, it’s not what you know, but who you know. Make friends with recruitment consultants; that’s the best way to get interviews if that’s what you’re after.

Bargaining?

If you’ve come to the UK from the US, change your shopping habits.  This is not a country where all prices are fixed (except for big brand chain stores), and you must negotiate to not get ripped off.  Remember, everyone who’s selling something to is out to get as much as he possibly can for it, and since the customer does not come first in the UK, you must stand up for yourself and bring the price down to what is right.  Don’t get ripped off.

Cost of Living

Everything here costs double of what it should.  Movies, entertainment, food, rent.  It is an expensive country, and quite frankly, it does not deliver the quality of life that the States does, even at twice the cost of living.  Therefore, get ready to overpay and complain.  To give you an idea, a 2 bedroom flat about 40 minutes to an hour away from the Centre of London will run you about $ 2500+ per month.  And this won’t be a big flat/apartment; the bedrooms will barely fit a bed.  This brings me to the next thing to prepare for….

Personal Space?

Since the UK is short on space, and quality of life is irrelevant for most, get used to cutting down on all kinds of personal space, especially the space you live in.  Flats, apartments and houses are tiny; and estate agents plain flat out lie when they call some a 2-bedroom unit.  Look for yourself.  Do not beleive photos/pictures, but keep in mind that you’ll pay just about double the rent for the same space compaired to New York City, and probably double the rent and half the space compared to to other major US cities.

0800 Numbers

This is one thing I hate about this country.  Since this is a safe haven for businesses prepared to stiff the general public, most businesses in this country don’t have a normal telephone number.  They will advertise fancy numbers like 0845, 0870 etc., which are all rip offs.  My advice, if you can live without using a product from one of these businesses, do it, because these are vampiric businesses and companies and they are not around to provide you with a good product or service.  Why is that?  Well, 0845 etc. numbers work like  the opposite of a US Collect call.

Say, if I’m calling a store on their number 0845 1234 5678, I get charged about 4p to 50p a minute in excess of my normal call charges (depending on whether you’re calling from a landline or mobile phone), this business that I’m calling gets to keep half of that money.  So, not only will you overpay this business for a third class product, but you are also being penalized to call them and inquire about the very product they want to sell to you.  Two words:  F@#*king A$$holes who’s business will fail and they will rott in hell.  That goes for all of them: the Ikeas, the sainsburys the Tescos etc. etc.  There, I feel better now.  If a business isn’t courteous enough to give you information about the product they sell for free, imagine what kind of shady, dodgy third class products they are selling.  Woe unto them.

Also note that 0800 numbers which are toll free, are only toll free if called from a BT landline.   If they’re called from a mobile, they will suck up your designated minutes and you will be charged a cost per minute, which can vary from 10p to 1 pound depending on your mobile phone carrier and the number you are calling. 

It’s all a rip-off.  And it’s even more frustrating because…

Lack of Good Technology/Ecommerce

Yes.  The UK is about 30 years behind the US.  Things are not automated despite what banks, utility companies, and online stores claim.  Online orders time out, websites are browser incompatible, and very often after you complete an online transaction you will get a call asking you to complete the transaction, well, because the businesses are cheap and incompetent.  Get used to living in the stone ages, even in a hiflying proclaimed city like London.  It is, after all, an American Village.

The Train, Tubes and Subway System

 If you live in London, you rely on public transport to get you places, because driving a car is neither cost effective nor healthy for those of us with shorter tempers.

Without a doubt, the management of a transport system that operates on the scale of London is a mammoth task, but it’s not done too well here.  The main reason for that is lack of foresight.  I’m going to compare the Underground to the New York Subway, and to fans of London, they were both built in 1863.  It’s just that New York built their system better by adding redundant tracks, and London failed to do so.  The result, after 150 years is that the London Underground suffers from serious delays, where as the New York Subway doesn’t quiite have the same level or scale of problems.

More need not be said.  Get ready to be frustrated and late for a transport system that will overcharge the living daylights out of you and your hard earned money.

Conclusion

I’d love to spend more time writing about this, but I’m short on time and I’m sure you’ve noticed a common theme.  Brace yourself!  The UK is not all that it claims to be.  If you’re moving from the States, expect disappointment.  If you’re moving from a former English colony that’s a third world country, don’t expect much different.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, June 19th, 2008 at 12:51 pm and is filed under News & Discussion. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.