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I have long been a critic of British Education. Of course, long is a relative term and here long refers to the last 15 months. My basic education is British. My University education is American. My professional experience is split between the United States, Dubai and the United Kingdom.
I’ve said it from day 1: American education is by far the best. Why? Because the US education system does not focus on students learning concepts or memorizing answers to questions. It is a system that does not focus on and is not centred around academic knowledge alone. American education gives you the tools you need to succeed in life, in business, and on the job. In this context, I am referring to American education at the University Level, better known as the Undergradute and Graduate programs at universities across the United States.
British University education, well, clearly sucks. With Metro highlighting the launch of a Masters Degree in Facebook today, London has reached a new high in the quality of pathetic intellect and wasteful education; education that represents nothing but a mere high-class insult to the likes of Charles Dickens, William Shakespeare, Oscar Wilde and others from the Golden Age of British education. That said, I understand why the general level of British University education is so low.
The entire system is politicized and is a victim of bureaucracy. Having a University degree means absolutely nothing when you go and look for a job; academic fraud and cheating is at an all time high, and professors boast about their out-dated, memory ridden testing styles that are supposed to prep their students for the 21st century. Specifically speaking, when it comes to business education, more specifically, accounting education, British degrees are about as useful as a second rate high school diploma from China.
How do I know, you ask? Well, I must say with some sadness, I’m an accountant. I’m an accountant educated and experienced in the US, who now has the pleasure of coming to the UK and having to go through the bureaucratic system of so-called professional education, which is, from a learning standpoint, garbage. British degrees in accounting are useless because whether you have one or not, you can sit through a 3 year course with ACCA, CIMA or ICAEW and become a so-called qualified accountant. So then, why would you want a British degree? If qualified and educated means having a certificate, why is a degree needed? Precisely! That is the stance that Universities in the United Kingdom have also taken. They have totally eliminated the need to learn and enhance one’s skillset from the curriculum; have turned a blind eye to the widespread academic fraud and are simply there to collect money from students.
Enter professional education bodies. Then you have the likes of CIMA, ACCA and ICAEW, who have stooped to the level of every other governmental institution. Britain is a currently that is hard-coded with the problems that make the third world nations of the world today, well, third world. Bureaucracy is at the heart of such disasters, Britain is fast headed that way. With institutes and certificates for everything, from trash management to facilities management to the auctioneers association to the certified breathing association, the English have developed a certification for virtually everything. The result of such widespread certification is that anyone who pays a fee and memorizes a bog-standard exam can go ahead and get one of these, which makes him/her qualified for a job. However, what most of these certificate holders or degree holders know is of little relevance to their jobs. That’s if they know much at all.
A little off topic, but Britain apparently came up with a workplace homicide act in 2007. Is it just me, or does parliament have too much time developing crap laws that accomplish absolutely nothing. Take today’s news: Jacqui Smith’s husband charged 10 quid worth of pornography to the government and half the nation lost it. What are these people, silly? You are worried about 10 pounds when Members of Parliament in England have come up with a second house allowance and other ridiculous benefits that allow them to claim hundreds of thousands of pounds legally every year? Again, is it just me, or is the education of British universities and institutions like CIMA clearly reflective in the populations reaction such news?
So, let’s get to CIMA. Why am I picking on CIMA? Management Accounting has always been a subject of great interest for me. Ever since I took my first accounting course in 1998 (that’s right!), I knew I wouldn’t be going into public accounting. I, therefore, very clearly understand the mission, purpose, goals, aims, objectives and benefits of management accounting. Accountants, in general, are supposed to be trustworthy: that’s why they can notarize, attest documents, etc. Generally, people are supposed to trust accountants. Of course, the likes of Arthur Anderson and KPMG have made headway in damaging the reputation of accountants; probably rightly so.
You see, accounting bodies should never stoop to the level of crappy standard that universities have. However, like every other bureaucratic branch in industry and government, everyone wants to make their own mafia and claim that they have it right, when they have nothing, except for a bunch of illiterate, pathetic, politically connected lobbyists. I’m sorry, did I say CIMA? That goes for all of them: CIMA, ACCA and ICAEW.
Now, since I am settled in the good old United Kingdom, I figured I might as well take a shot at one of these Certifications since according to everyone else who is a ‘qualified’ accountant in the UK, degree education is useless. Not that I really care about what others think, but in the UK bring qualified or certified is necessary, because the level of truth telling is so low that people will generally not believe much of what you tell them on your CV, but they will all buy into the lie of what these ‘professional’ institutions tell them. In essence, it’s an idiot proof system designed by insecure accountants who know they are idiots, and is pushed by a further qualified brand of idiiots. See how it works? Dumb patting dumber on the back and issuing dumber with a certification that makes dumber dumb.
Well, I’ve been reading up on some CIMA course materials and some of the content published by CIMA and their partners is, well, plain wrong. CIMA, for instance, claims that they offer education that no university offers, thereby offering enhanced professional education which makes it equal to an MBA. I’m sorry, but who the fuck is CIMA kidding? CIMA education is not extravagant, and if you have a degree from any half decent US University, there is nothing new for you to learn here, except for maybe a couple of concepts at the Strategic Level, none of which will be relevant to you in your job.
CIMA examiners and instructors ALSO claim that when grading papers, they are looking for students to use ‘keywords’ in their answers, rather than explain or justify the argument they are making or decision they are supporting. That equates to memorizing and is, well, what you’re supposed to require in 6th and 7th grade, not at a professional level. Not only that, CIMA openly claims that management accountants are not supposed to be systems experts, but must have apt knowledge of systems to understand the ramifications of and be involved in decisions made in companies regarding information systems. Well, if you’re not experts, the wise thing to do is to stay the fuck out of it. Not only does CIMA promote this unhealthy atmosphere in business, but partner Systems Institutes which are also victims of bureaucracy promote their specialty, and neither really give you any practical education, stirring a recipe for disaster. It’s this kind of education that causes the Ministry of Defence to wrongly pay several hundred thousand soldiers. Bad accountants who claim to know it all because they’re certified, and bad systems experts who claim to understand it all because an IS is apparently the be all and end all. It is this kind education that has, over the years, ensured that the UK will never become the leading economy, in terms customer service, innovation or process efficiency.
I don’t have a beef with CIMA, per se. CIMA is an average accounting certification that will not teach the seasoned, experienced graduate (from a decent country and a decent university) anything new. What you need to pass CIMA is to learn how to tackle their exams. What you need to understand while preparing and practicing for CIMA exams is that many CIMA examiners are not CIMA qualified themselves, which makes for even more of a make belief ‘good’ education and curriculum.
My only problem with CIMA lies in some of the ridiculously incorrect content that is part of their course. CIMA examines some aspects of information systems design that are plain wrong. Not only that, they go on to test some of these CIMA-developed concepts and terminologies, and instructors and examiners who have absolutely no clue about what they are talking about get to grade you on this stuff. As proof, I have a book that is supposed to contain questions and answers from past CIMA exams, and some of the answers have a long explanation of what the examiner is looking for. The answer ends with the phrase ‘powerful software solution’ followed by the examiners comments in parenthesis ‘whatever that means!’ That, ladies and gentlemen, is the quality of education being offered to you by a professional institute that claims to offer some of the most sophisticated business education in the country today.
It is no wonder then, that banks are collapsing and businesses are functioning on non-existent cash. Here’s a hot tip: go nail your educational institutions and education providers, who’ve been teaching wrong information with outdated syllabi that do not give the typical British graduate or certificate holder any ambition or tools to build a career with. What you are stuck with is: get your degree, get your certificate, grow old and get a pay increase with age. That is the path to staying twenty years behind the rest of the world in everything. That is path to killing creativity and promoting uncooth bureaucracy.
Oh wait, I almost forgot. Welcome to Britain. And I don’t hate it; it’s great! It’s just that many of the people are not with it, and that’s highly representative of the population of the planet. It is for the same reason that Americans elected and re-elected George Bush that the British keep following into the footsteps of such brain-dead, mind-numbing bureaucracy with every passing year. I have 100 pounds waiting for someone who can correctly tell me what that reason is.
Go on, have at it. What have you got to lose?
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